Monday, July 15, 2013

Life keeps on moving...even when you wish it would slow down

Often times I sit here and think to myself..why haven't I logged in & written in a while, why do I feel lacking of anything to write. Than I chastise myself for wanting to write the same thing over and over, which is, I'm busy, life got in the way. I could go back to making it a discipline and writing for 30 days straight but than I feel you don't get the spontaneous me.

Things I like about myself:
My laugh
My smile
My heart
My compassion
My joy - when I allow myself to truly accept it
My true nature
My sense of adventure when I don't allow limitations to slow me down.

Things I don't like about myself:
Harsh criticism of myself via internal voices, words & thoughts
My physical limitations
That mean streak that can come out
That I bottle things up & than explode
That I explode at people that aren't deserving of it
My need to overachieve
That I often say "I didn't sign up for this". I need to change that phrase. I need a more positive mantra. I want to participate, believe in and accept things that are true to my core.

My thoughts are scattered lately and I fully accept that. I truly do have alot going on in my mind. My mind runs marathons while my body prefers the slower pace.

I came in today & said to hubby...want to come out w/ me to see the 2nd most beautiful thing in the garden. I had to explain that I think tomato's are the 1st most beautiful thing because they are the first to produce, they have a beautiful color & they just smell so wonderful. So he indulged me and came out to see my new found passion. What was it....a purple bell pepper. Most beautiful thing! I was so excited when I found it that I wanted to pluck it, but it is still on the small size. I'll have to grab a picture of it in all it's glory. Him sharing in my joy was such a wonderful thing for me because I know of his great dislike of bell peppers. Not in food, not in sauce, not in the vegetable drawer and yet here was his wife asking him to understand the beauty of a thing he detests. He did a great job sharing in my joy!

Puppy has now hit the 6 month mark. She is almost taller than her sister and starting to take on a more adventurous attitude. She has discovered birds, rabbits, deer and chipmunks. She still has that wonder of innocence about her & it is a pleasure to watch.