Saturday, January 25, 2014

Closing Doors

Close some doors,
not because of 
Pride, Incapacity, 
or Arrogance, but 
simply because
they no longer lead
-Paulo Coelho-

Never have truer words been written. 
Never have truer words resonated within me. 
Sometimes you just need to be open to listening to the truer words. 

Paulo Coelho is an amazing author. Our local beer distributor turned me onto him a few years back. Who would have imagined you go in to buy beer and end up having great life conversations that lead you on new paths. 

I read the books with fervor, wanting to absorb all that I could.  Than a few more years go bye and at our first burning man, I meet a man who has taken the pilgrimage and followed in Paulo's steps. Life is funny and really does have a way of pushing you in the directions you need. 

I am starting the practice of closing some doors. I sometimes question my actions and wheter they are for the right reasons, but when you have determine that the door no longer leads somewhere it is time to close it. When the path behind the door is toxic, it is time to close it. 

Growth can only come from change and change comes from making space for the things that nourish you, the people that encourage you, and living the life that you know is right for you. 


Saturday, January 18, 2014

Changes, Empowerment, Growth, Rebuild

Something has shifted.
Something has changed.
Growth is afoot.
A new me is being reborn.

I feel like a dark veil has been lifted from over me.
For the last few years, I have felt depressed, held back, AFRAID.
Afraid to try new things, afraid to go places, afraid to let others see who I am.

Something has changed and a weight has been lifted.
Here in the dead of winter...
I am finding myself no longer hindering myself.
Going out and doing things that not too long ago would cripple me with fear.

Don't get me wrong. It was not an overnight transformation. I am still battling the demons that try to overcome me.

Today I struggled for a bit with my fear of driving in the snow. I knew I wanted to get out and get some stuff done, but was afraid of the snow. Rather than trying to fight it, belittle myself for being so ridiculous and than wallowing in darkness. I decided to acknowledge the fear, allow it some space and than moved on to a pampering ritual. With a few short hours, a calmness had returned and I decided to tackle my fear. I made it out, down the driveway, onto the road and to the places that I needed to go. I didn't wreck the car, didn't spin out, didn't slide into any parking spaces. Everything I had feared had not happened.

I am not sure what brought about this change, perhaps cleansing some unnecessary items and people from my life. I like it, I think I'll embrace it for a while.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014


I am such a lucky gal to have married an amazing man.
A man with a heart of gold.
A man who would give you the shirt off his back.
A man who gives selflessly and asks for nothing in return.
My girls and I are so very lucky to have him in our lives.

My life is difficult at times as I am an empath and can deeply feel others emotions, pain & joy.
I am easily overwhelmed by others emotions and have trouble controlling it. Probably why I appear to cry so easily.

Today the compassion that you exhibited, overwhelmed me. I am thankful for your gesture, no matter how small it may have seemed to you. I know that the creature felt your compassion and is thanking you as well for your selfless act.

You are a gem. I love you!