Saturday, January 18, 2014

Changes, Empowerment, Growth, Rebuild

Something has shifted.
Something has changed.
Growth is afoot.
A new me is being reborn.

I feel like a dark veil has been lifted from over me.
For the last few years, I have felt depressed, held back, AFRAID.
Afraid to try new things, afraid to go places, afraid to let others see who I am.

Something has changed and a weight has been lifted.
Here in the dead of winter...
I am finding myself no longer hindering myself.
Going out and doing things that not too long ago would cripple me with fear.

Don't get me wrong. It was not an overnight transformation. I am still battling the demons that try to overcome me.

Today I struggled for a bit with my fear of driving in the snow. I knew I wanted to get out and get some stuff done, but was afraid of the snow. Rather than trying to fight it, belittle myself for being so ridiculous and than wallowing in darkness. I decided to acknowledge the fear, allow it some space and than moved on to a pampering ritual. With a few short hours, a calmness had returned and I decided to tackle my fear. I made it out, down the driveway, onto the road and to the places that I needed to go. I didn't wreck the car, didn't spin out, didn't slide into any parking spaces. Everything I had feared had not happened.

I am not sure what brought about this change, perhaps cleansing some unnecessary items and people from my life. I like it, I think I'll embrace it for a while.

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