Yep, still haven't found that box of gauze & surgical tape. Tried using some regular surgical tape, but the same reaction occurred that I get when I use regular band aid's. Basically it rips my skin apart. So I made do with other means.
The megace has come to an end! Hallelujah; High Praise; Happy Dance
I truly did not think I was going to make it for the last 2 months. More than once I thought & vocalized my desire to just stop the treatment and deal with whatever came of it. I have a great support system that talked me thru it and kept me on track. Although I am sure it was just as hard for them to keep supporting me as it was for me to stay on it.
I was so desperate to get the megace out of my system that I looked up the 1/2 life of megace and flushed with plenty of fluids. In case you ever need to know, the 1/2 life of megace is 34 hours.
So as of today I am 4 full days off the junk.
4 days off...here's my report:
Attitude is still suffering some.
Body is still exhausted
Still fighting for breath and strength
Weight has kept climbing.
I don't feel the need to eat non stop
Spoke to the dr's office the other day & the report just gets better & better. I was of the understanding that once I came off, I would have a cycle and bleed for an undetermined amount of time. Come to find out, being off the megace is similar to being on...they don't know what's going to happen. You may bleed, you may not. It may be horrible, it may be nothing. Uncomprehendable to me, but it's the only answer I get. D&C will be sometime in May and hopefully from there we will have some more definitive answers. 8 months of hurry up & wait.
So while I am struggling and packing on the pounds my dear significant other continues to drop the weight. Clothes no longer fit him so we are having to go out and buy a new wardrobe. I hope that my weight comes off and that I have to buy a new wardrobe too. I've had to buy a new "FAT" wardrobe. It mainly consists of skirts and tank tops. Can't stand anything around my waist.
Spring will be here this weekend!
Easter next weekend!
Things are looking up. I have always loved the Spring season. A time of growth & rebirth. I am happy to have had the megace end in time for SPRING!
xoxo
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Friday, March 18, 2016
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Keeping it Close
I've always been a solitary fighter.
Holding things close to the chest and now allowing other people in to help fight the battle.
Why? I am not really sure. Could be the result of being raised an only child, yes I have siblings but they were raised separately. Could be the result of tragedies in an early life that taught me there are not many you can trust. Could come from having an alcoholic parent & the let downs associated with that.
What does any of that matter? It doesn't matter what the reasons are, the end result is that I am who I am. I fight how I fight. I learned independence early on and I've clung to it.
Infertility is not really a solitary battle. It is a battle that the couple trying to conceive takes on. It is not an easy battle and yet it is one not openly or easily shared either. Even communication amongst the infertile couple can at times be challenging. Your fighting a battle that doesn't have a reason, a rhyme or an answer. More than 1/2 of infertile couples will hear the words uttered "Undetermined Infertility" and nothing more we can do for you.
Roughly 1/3 of couples will be told that they just need to relax. Let me tell you relaxing is so much easier to prescribe than to do.
Many other infertile couples will not share their journey with their closest loved ones because they feel in some way they are disappointing their loved ones.
It's a long, drawn out process to find answers. Sometimes testing takes months or longer. When someone knows you are dealing with infertility it tends to define you and that is all they can think to ask about. As the infertile couple, that can be frustrating having it constantly reminded to you that you are fighting a battle. But you have to take it with a grain of salt and know that their intentions come with goodness and concern.
What other battles do I try to fight solitary? My depression and my struggles with those who disappoint me. In the end, my fight is not solitary. I crack and give in to the help offered to me all along, but it's a battle.
What advice can I offer you? Be aware that help is there for you, that people are willing to support you. Acknowledge their love for you and your appreciation for them supporting you. If it gets to be too much, learn to speak up. You don't have to spill the beans and tell them all of your struggles but simply say, "that's a tough subject for me to discuss but I appreciate your concern." If they love you & want to support you, they will understand and will continue to be your strength.
Here's something I read on BOOK OF FACES that I want to write up for the house.
If you FAIL, never give up because F-A-I-L means "First Attempt In Learning"
END is not the end. In fact E-N-D means "Effort Never Dies"
If you get NO as answer, remember N-O means "Next Opportunity"
Be Positive in 2016!
Why? I am not really sure. Could be the result of being raised an only child, yes I have siblings but they were raised separately. Could be the result of tragedies in an early life that taught me there are not many you can trust. Could come from having an alcoholic parent & the let downs associated with that.
What does any of that matter? It doesn't matter what the reasons are, the end result is that I am who I am. I fight how I fight. I learned independence early on and I've clung to it.
Infertility is not really a solitary battle. It is a battle that the couple trying to conceive takes on. It is not an easy battle and yet it is one not openly or easily shared either. Even communication amongst the infertile couple can at times be challenging. Your fighting a battle that doesn't have a reason, a rhyme or an answer. More than 1/2 of infertile couples will hear the words uttered "Undetermined Infertility" and nothing more we can do for you.
Roughly 1/3 of couples will be told that they just need to relax. Let me tell you relaxing is so much easier to prescribe than to do.
Many other infertile couples will not share their journey with their closest loved ones because they feel in some way they are disappointing their loved ones.
It's a long, drawn out process to find answers. Sometimes testing takes months or longer. When someone knows you are dealing with infertility it tends to define you and that is all they can think to ask about. As the infertile couple, that can be frustrating having it constantly reminded to you that you are fighting a battle. But you have to take it with a grain of salt and know that their intentions come with goodness and concern.
What other battles do I try to fight solitary? My depression and my struggles with those who disappoint me. In the end, my fight is not solitary. I crack and give in to the help offered to me all along, but it's a battle.
What advice can I offer you? Be aware that help is there for you, that people are willing to support you. Acknowledge their love for you and your appreciation for them supporting you. If it gets to be too much, learn to speak up. You don't have to spill the beans and tell them all of your struggles but simply say, "that's a tough subject for me to discuss but I appreciate your concern." If they love you & want to support you, they will understand and will continue to be your strength.
Here's something I read on BOOK OF FACES that I want to write up for the house.
If you FAIL, never give up because F-A-I-L means "First Attempt In Learning"
END is not the end. In fact E-N-D means "Effort Never Dies"
If you get NO as answer, remember N-O means "Next Opportunity"
Be Positive in 2016!
Thursday, December 24, 2015
My Megace Adventure
I'm going to take you on a little adventure. It's called the adventure of megace.
Megace can be your lifesaver but at the same time it can be your worse enemy.
Two simple little white pills. Pop 2 in the AM, pop 2 in the PM. That's it. That's all it takes to join this fun adventure.
Megace is prescribed for many, many reasons. An appetite stimulant in those with challenges such as maintaining weight, no appetite, cancer, etc. It can be prescribed to combat endometrial dysplasia or cancers of the lady parts.
I am sure it has many other uses as well.
Here's where my adventure begins. Here are my side effects of megace and when all is said and done, why I will never take it again. I will consider a hysterectomy over megace.
I am 3 months into my story on megace. Everyday is a struggle, a challenge. Remember I said, it's simply 2 little white pills in the AM and 2 in the PM..so that's not too much of a struggle. The struggle comes from the personality change, the horrible mood swings, the hot flashes, the night sweats, the anxiety, the constant need to have something food related in your mouth, not being able to get enough to drink, the weight gain, the having to get up in the middle of the night to pee and occasionally change your clothes because you are soaked. And those are just the big ticket items.
The smaller items include breaking a crown from having to constantly be chewing on something, lack of sex drive-I mean zero, nada, nilch, the general overall feeling of demise, blah and ugh.
Everyday when I swallow those simple 2 little white pills, I have to remind myself of the end goal, that I can get thru this. My health is at stake, my ability to have children is at stake. I have come too far on my infertility journey to stop now and just give up.
3 months ladies and gents. 1/2 way there yet still a long 3 months to go.
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